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Michael Bay deserved to be attacked, so he was.

17 Oct

627

While on the set of Transformers: Age of Extinction, director Michael Bay was almost assaulted with an air conditioning unit, an object so random that only Michael Bay would warrant it. The story went something like this:

1. Three men were harassing the crew.

Michael Bay insert: And there were like, six explosions, and a lot of people died and the whole city blew up!

2. After Bay refused to pay the money the men were demanding, one of them tried to attack him with an AC unit.

Bay insert: And I introduced a woman character, and although she ended up being undeveloped and merely exploited for her looks, I kept her around because I like money!

3. The security team subdued the man after Bay disarmed him.

Bay insert: And I dispatched the security team because I wanted the dudes all to myself, if you know what I mean. So, after I finished having passionate sex with them, I kicked their asses and blew up a bomb somewhere! And a freaking humongous ship flew into the building! HOLY SHIT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT BUILDING THAT WAS AND THE SHIP WAS THE TITANIC!

But really, this was an event clearly symbolic of Michael Bay’s tendency to ruin movies. The man demanding the money was representative of the American public as a whole, as Michael Bay really doesn’t deserve any of the money he’s made in his life.

It took a while for anyone to figure out what was going on (this was a Michael Bay thing, after all), but the good thing is that Bay escaped unscathed. That way, someone else can assault him with a bigger air conditioner.

Credit to no one for that picture, because who likes Michael Bay?

 

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