American Horror Story: Coven “Go To Hell” Review (3×12)

22 Jan

14136636-mmmainMan, that picture up there looks a lot more exciting than how it really played out, eh?

That’s really emblematic of this entire season, which, thankfully, is over next week. As for this episode, although the plot finally starts to motor forward a bit, the problem is: I just don’t care. I don’t care who the next Supreme is. I don’t care if anyone is killed off. I don’t care about any of these characters.

It’s sad, really, especially coming after Asylum, which was a truly great season of television. There, the stakes felt high. There, when something happened, it affected the outcome of the season. There, when we finished the finale, we felt like we’d seen a whole story. Going into the final episode of Coven, what exactly has changed? Fiona’s heading on out and we’re about to pick a new Supreme. Hooray.

Now, I don’t have as much of a problem with this week’s episode as I did last week’s. Right now, any forward momentum is good momentum, and I like how Laveau and LaLaurie’s storylines converge at the end. Granted, the way we get there is a bit sloppy, but the idea of the two spending eternity in Hell with Papa Legba is great; by the way, Lance Reddick is having the time of his life right now, and I have to say, Legba is the creepiest part of the show. Anyway, as for Queenie, the portrayal of her Hell is fairly interesting; the whole fried chicken flashback from the beginning of the season was a violation of the very societal aspects that Murphy wanted to comment on (unsuccessfully, I might add), but the way it’s brought around again isn’t all too bad.

It’s also entertaining to see Madison and Misty get into it, which is certainly one of the better dynamics of the show. Of course, the problem here is that literally nothing else in the episode piques my interest. Sure, Myrtle gets in a few hilarious lines–“Just like Halston when he sold his brand to JC Penney”–but just like all those one-liners, it seems as if all these plots are inserted just because. It’s a haphazardly organized season, and actually, a lack of coherence may be the worst thing that could happen to this show. It thrives in unpredictability and shock, but those never come to light when we’re jumping all over the place. Papa Legba? He’s fun, but I wanted to see him introduced earlier. The Seven Wonders? All it was during the first 11 episodes was a name drop. The Axeman? He comes and goes, and we’re supposed to be invested in his and Fiona’s storyline; his death is supposed to mean something, I guess. Zoe and Kyle? What the hell? They head off to some park somewhere, kill a guy, and come strutting back into the coven with some lame bullshit about finding themselves. Stay where you were, guys. We didn’t need you.

Oh well. Hopefully, the writers have it in them to pull off something passable next week. I have a feeling they won’t, so don’t be surprised when everyone you thought the show was finished with escapes from Hell and participates in this Supreme competition. I’d laugh my ass off, because that would be the perfect capper to an exercise in awful narrative techniques. Whatever. Bring back Bloody Face or something and have him shoot up the coven.



-Favorite part of the episode? The beginning, with the silent movie introducing the Seven Wonders.

Photo credit: FX, American Horror Story: Coven


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