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“Mad Men” final season to be split in two, and AMC executives let out a collective sigh of relief

17 Sep

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In just one of the steps leading up to a world in which every single TV season is split into two, yet is called one season, AMC has decided to split Mad Men’s final season in two. AMC executives reportedly spent about 6 seconds deliberating, then made this decision while rolling in piles of money and giggling like little schoolchildren. In a statement read to the press, AMC president Ilike Money announced, “Because we’re AMC and our new shows suck, we’ve decided to do this because we don’t like sucking. We also like Emmys.” AMC will spend the next couple years holding onto Mad Men as they drown in a sea of mediocrity, and will probably renew “The Walking Dead”, and its spinoff, for at least 36 more seasons.

Each half-season will consist of 7 episodes, with the first batch titled “The Beginning” and the second batch titled “The End of an Era”.  So, the first batch will presumably be just a bunch of clip shows of Don Draper as a kid, frolicking around in a whorehouse while gaping at naked women. The second batch will consist of seven episodes of Matthew Weiner feeding his child, Ego.

“We plan to take advantage of this chance to have a more elaborate story told in two parts, which can resonate a little bit longer in the minds of our audience,” Weiner said, in a statement that makes no sense because they could’ve easily just have slapped “The beginning of the end of an era” on the final season and told an elaborate story that resonated in the minds of their audience. This is a show that usually takes a couple episodes to really get going, so by the time each really gets going, we’ll already be at the finale.

Anyway, I guess it’s time to speculate who’s going to end up on the toilet in Season 7A’s finale. Or, maybe an army of Bob Bensons will destroy everyone before we can get a chance to say goodbye.

Or, maybe Jon Hamm will finally get that Emmy he deserves.

“Not a chance.” -Emmy voters

Credit to AMC and Mad Men for all pictures. I own nothing.

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