Tag Archives: Charlie Hunnam

Charlie Hunnam realizes what he got himself into, backs out of “Fifty Shades of Grey”

12 Oct

627Charlie Hunnam in a leather jacket, which he would’ve used freely in this movie ^^

After initially mistaking his “Fifty Shades of Grey” role as one in which he gets to play a Kaiju in the bedroom, Charlie Hunnam has finally realized that no, he is not the right person for the job. After arriving on set and being asked to engage in, and I quote “Sexy stuff with sexy toys”, he went home and rummaged through his trash to find his mother’s copy of the book. He flipped to page (inset literally any page) and started reading, then immediately got an erection and threw the book into a cauldron of his blood and tears.

Universal, the production company for the movie, released a statement stating

The filmmakers of Fifty Shades of Grey and Charlie Hunnam have agreed to find another male lead given Hunnam’s immersive TV schedule which is not allowing him time to adequately prepare for the role of Christian Grey.

This statement tells us two false things: 1) Charlie Hunnam was made by a filmmaker, and 2) Charlie Hunnam has an immersive TV schedule. Hunnam apparently spends every second of his day perusing “Sons of Anarchy” scripts and smoking joints with Kurt Sutter, and therefore cannot prepare for his role. Or, the statement most likely means

Charlie Hunnam would be terrible as Christian Grey and he wouldn’t even prepare for it anyway and he has a stupid American accent.

No word yet on Dakota Johnson, but she will presumably be leaving just as soon as she comes to her senses and decides to pass on her role to a more “respected” actress (as if anyone would still be respected after engaging in softcore porn on screen for 2 hours).

Credit to FX and Sons of Anarchy for all pictures. I own nothing.

PTC condemns “Sons of Anarchy” season premiere because they don’t have anything better to do with their lives

12 Sep

son1

Today, the Parents Television Council (also known as the GOPA, or Group of Pretentious Assholes) decided to use their oh so wonderful 1st Amendment rights to petition Congress for what is essentially a Constitutional amendment. For a TV show.

Oh yes, this group of rambunctious little worrywarts is back at it again, releasing a statement today that reads, “The Parents Television Council is calling on its members to contact Congress to express the urgent need for a consumer cable choice solution in response to the violent and sexually graphic premiere of FX’s Sons Of Anarchy, which featured a young boy committing a school shooting, simulated rape scenes, torture of women, and a man who was drowned in a bathtub of urine”, which essentially means “We didn’t like the episode, so we want everyone to conform to our highly idealistic and narrow-minded view of television in general.”

What a hoot! Last I checked, parents decided what their kids could and couldn’t watch, not a group of idiots that are getting more attention than they deserve (I’m writing an article about them, for God’s sake). What’s next? Criticizing Game of Thrones, Hannibal, or pretty much all of TV? I’m so glad there’s a council out there telling adults how to act.

Of course, all members of this group probably watch these shows in a dark room somewhere, smoking joints, giggling, and slapping each other with balloon animals. They’re so distracted that they don’t seem to notice the “TV-MA” and the “VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED” and the “THIS PROGRAM CONTAINS VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, AND NUDITY, WHICH ARE THE EXACT THINGS WE’RE CRITICIZING” disclaimers, four or five of which accompany each episode of every show on the network.

The show is on cable and at 10 pm, and it’s not a show for tiny, messy kids with inferiority complexes. Of course, going by that definition, that’s the equivalent of saying it’s not a show for the PTC.

Credit to FX and Sons of Anarchy for all pictures. I own nothing.

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