True Blood to end in 2014, presumably after the world is overrun by fairy-vampire-werewolf hybrids

3 Sep


(Spoilers) In news that is three hours old, but has already caused thousands of True Blood fans to cry out in anguish, Brian Buckner, showrunner of the somehow still hit show, announced that the upcoming seventh season will be the last. At the words “seventh season”, the fans all thought for a minute, then nodded their heads as if to say “Yes, this is good.”

The final season, set to air next summer, will presumably involve the aftermath of Eric’s nude inferno ice glacier book-reading whatever the hell that was. This will consist of Eric standing in the background of every scene, nude and on fire, not noticed by any of the other characters. They will apparently have more important things to do, like having sex in the woods or being uninteresting.

Buckner insists that “as we take a final walk through Bon Temps together, we will do our very best to bring Sookie’s story to a close with heart, imagination and, of course, fun.” This is, of course, interesting wording, as Sookie’s walks usually lead to danger. I can only infer that heart, imagination, and fun will jump out of the woods and tear her to pieces, but not before she meets a random hot guy that wants to kill her.

The season will consist of 10 episodes, continuing the format of the last season.

Also, Alcide will be there and he’ll take off his shirt or something.

Credit for picture to HBO and True Blood. I own nothing.

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