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John Oliver is returning to “Community”, and it’s about time.

11 Sep

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In news surely to please any Community fan, or lover of comedy in general, the show is bringing back John Oliver as Professor Ian Duncan, last seen in “Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts” back in Season A Long Time Ago.

He will have a recurring role, appearing in at least six episodes, a statement which hopefully means he will be appearing in twenty two episodes. He will also hopefully be taking on the role of Troy Barnes, preferably without any explanation whatsoever. There might be a short exchange, though, that goes something like:

Jeff: Aren’t you supposed to be black?

Oliver as Duncan as Troy: Yeah, but I made some adjustments in my life this summer. *Jumps into bed with Britta*

Logically, this should also mean he’d be taking on the role of Pierce Hawthorne, and he’s eventually going to be playing every single character in the show. That way, if Jon Stewart ever decided to guest star, he’d be there to take his place as well.

Oliver will spend his time on the show drinking lots of tea and showing off his big penis (I do not say this from experience), and he will continually want to move to a room with less balls. He will also-…whatever. He’s back. Harmon’s back. McKenna’s back. The Russos are back. Goggins and Banks are coming. It should be a great season. If it’s not, then I blame Britta.

Credit to NBC and Community for all pictures. I own nothing.

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Saul Goodman to be Saul Goodman in “Breaking Bad” spinoff about Saul Goodman

11 Sep

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After months of speculation, AMC announced today that Bob Odenkirk will reprise his role in a spinoff of Breaking Bad, and that said spinoff will be airing on AMC. The series will involve Saul Goodman doing Saul Goodman-y things, like telling young, unsuspecting idiots to not drink and drive, but call him if they do. The series will be one hour, and will presumably consist of 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads, 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads, and 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads. 

Vince Gilligan will be involved in the creative process, and the series will most likely air sometime next year. That gives us enough time to finish screaming at the top of our lungs in reaction to Breaking Bad, and will give our families and friends enough time to look at us strangely, then move out of the country. By the time we have digested the series finale and have gone through withdrawal from the show, most of us will probably be a melted puddle of human, almost as if Walt himself dissolved us in a vat of acid.

Those of us that survive will be able to see Saul’s origins, as the series will trace his route from sleazy lawyer to sleazy lawyer of Heisenberg. Hank and Marie will probably guest star so Hank can throw in a “Jesus Christ, Marie!”, and Jesus Christ will probably descend from the skies in the form of Huell. Walt Jr. will also spend the whole series gaping idiotically at Saul.

Credit to AMC and Breaking Bad for all pictures. I own nothing.

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American Idol announces judging panel, immediately begins search for a new one

3 Sep

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FOX has officially confirmed that the new season of American Idol will consist of new judges that will almost certainly be replaced. These judges are Harry Connick, Jr., Keith Urban, and Jennifer Lopez, who apparently got bored of being Jennifer Lopez and decided to return (who can blame her?).

This is Urban’s second year on the show, a feat only surpassed by spending three years on the show, at which point he will probably melt into his chair and be eaten by a mob of screaming idiots. Not to fear, though, as judges on American Idol now have a shelf life of “Not long”, or the equivalent of a quickie in terms of judging a singing competition.

All three will be paid a lot of money, and they will sit at that table and pander to the general public, completely ignoring the nobody singing on stage. They will also all be involved in some sort of romantic plotline, consisting of Keith Urban screaming “NICKI MINAJ IS A RAPPER” a million times over and Connick, Jr. and Lopez frolicking on the table while Randy Jackson watches and offers up some excellent advice: “You did good, dawg.”

Then, Americans will vote, people will be eliminated, Ryan Seacrest will remain rich, and American Idol will still be here in 50 years. However, the judging panel will consist of an infant, an extraterrestrial, and the souls of every human being that has ever enjoyed this show.

Credit to FOX Broadcasting Company and American Idol for all pictures. I own nothing.

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True Blood to end in 2014, presumably after the world is overrun by fairy-vampire-werewolf hybrids

3 Sep

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(Spoilers) In news that is three hours old, but has already caused thousands of True Blood fans to cry out in anguish, Brian Buckner, showrunner of the somehow still hit show, announced that the upcoming seventh season will be the last. At the words “seventh season”, the fans all thought for a minute, then nodded their heads as if to say “Yes, this is good.”

The final season, set to air next summer, will presumably involve the aftermath of Eric’s nude inferno ice glacier book-reading whatever the hell that was. This will consist of Eric standing in the background of every scene, nude and on fire, not noticed by any of the other characters. They will apparently have more important things to do, like having sex in the woods or being uninteresting.

Buckner insists that “as we take a final walk through Bon Temps together, we will do our very best to bring Sookie’s story to a close with heart, imagination and, of course, fun.” This is, of course, interesting wording, as Sookie’s walks usually lead to danger. I can only infer that heart, imagination, and fun will jump out of the woods and tear her to pieces, but not before she meets a random hot guy that wants to kill her.

The season will consist of 10 episodes, continuing the format of the last season.

Also, Alcide will be there and he’ll take off his shirt or something.

Credit for picture to HBO and True Blood. I own nothing.

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