Dexter “Monkey In A Box” Review (8×11)

16 Sep

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Well, we’re heading into the final episode of Dexter, and we don’t seem to be anywhere near a satisfying conclusion. Yes, Saxon’s on the loose and Deb’s been shot, but it doesn’t feel as if we’re nearing an ending. First of all, Saxon hasn’t been an interesting character since he’s been a character, and the writers haven’t been able to milk any tension at all out of his relationship with Dexter. There are just so many plot inconsistencies and so much subpar acting that any interest I had originally is gone.

That’s not to say I don’t like the idea. There are many ideas I like, but the show’s problem is that it doesn’t fully expand on them. Oliver-Dexter COULD be a fantastic dynamic to explore. Deb getting shot COULD have felt like more of a significant event. The show COULD have been better. It just isn’t.

In this episode, we have Dexter saying his goodbyes around Miami Metro. Hall does what he can, and his reaction to the realization that he’ll miss everyone is fantastic. The only person truly conveying a sense of finality in the episode is Dexter, and I can only wish we had seen more exploration of his character. His decreased compulsion to kill could’ve been interesting, but instead, we’re hit over the head with constant reminders of how Dexter has changed. In fact, he’s changed so much that Ghost Harry’s gone! It seems as if this show’s idea of character development is telling us that they’ve developed.

Anyway, his character still remains frustratingly stubborn, especially with the notion that he has to kill Saxon. What’s wrong with just walking away? Why not? He doesn’t even end up killing Saxon, anyway. Dexter’s a guy that has to choose between two lives right now, and he says himself that Hannah’s more important to him. Get out of Miami, man! Still, I’ll reiterate the fact that the show shouldn’t be just exploring the “two worlds” concept; they should be exploring his motivations as a killer. The only thing now that could possibly do this is Deb’s death, and it’s certainly a possibility given the fact that she ends the episode shot in the stomach. It’s obviously meant to make Dexter feel guilty, but it just doesn’t have the weight it should. It feels tacked on, and it shouldn’t. Everything shouldn’t revolve around Dexter; Dexter should revolve around everything.

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GRADE: C

Other thoughts:

-Dexter probably won’t get caught. It’s a shame, because that was one thing I was looking forward to this season.

-Masuka and his daughter are there still. Elway’s snooping around. Harrison eats donuts.

-Wow, Lem (still sticking with this name). U.S. Marshals don’t watch the news? Untying Saxon, that wanted man on the TV, is kind of stupid.

-The callbacks they attempt come across as lame and unnecessary. Prado’s sister returns for some reason, Dexter name drops Astor and Cody all over the place, and everyone’s reminiscing about the past. That doesn’t sound like a penultimate episode of a show, does it?

-That last voiceover…jeez. The light metaphor just goes on and on and on, and that last shot seems like a reference to the opening credits or something.

-Deb and Hannah looooove Dexter. Cool. If Hannah wasn’t here, imagine how much more time Deb and Dexter could have together. It’d be a much different show.

-Quinn has a ring. I care because…?

-Next week, the storm blows everyone away and destroys Argentina.

Credit to Showtime and Dexter for all pictures. I own nothing.

Breaking Bad “Ozymandias” Review (5×14)

16 Sep

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“You’re the smartest person I know, and you don’t even see…he made up his mind 10 minutes ago.”

In one of Hank Schrader’s final lines, he perfectly sums up the character of Walter White. Walt’s flaw has always been his stubbornness, refusing to let go of his family or his money. All throughout this episode, he’s continuing to use the “family excuse” to the point of desperation, even sacrificing his money to try and save Hank. Alas, his plan fails. Hank goes down with a censored f-word, and Walt drops to his knees and falls over, shocked and dismayed. Cranston does wonderful work here, bringing his character through a full range of emotions that culminate in a seething, terrifying look of hatred toward Jesse.

Of course, Todd “saves” Jesse, deciding to use him as a meth-cooking teacher. He imprisons him, attaching him like a dog to a leash and putting up a photo of Andrea and Brock. Todd’s a psychopath, but he craves approval; he’s sucking up to Walt and trying to impress Lydia, and he’s not motivated by greed like the rest of Uncle Jack’s crew. It’s all a heartbreaking sequence of events, and it reflects how with Jesse, there’s no going back for Walt.

However, that doesn’t stop Walt from trying to bring Skyler and Walt Jr. to his side. It’s a doomed plan, though. Skyler and Marie have already told Flynn about his father’s criminal activities, and he’s at a breaking point. When Walt goes to the house to whisk them away, everything explodes in a wrenching, tragic scene in which Skyler pulls a knife on him and Walt Jr. calls the police. Walt snatches up Holly and leaves Skyler in the dust, but later, as he’s changing Holly, he hears one word that strikes him to his core: “Momma.”

This is what truly beats Heisenberg. Much like Walt only can focus on one thing at a time, he can only give up one at a time. Last week, he realized that Hank and Gomez had him beat. However, this week is when his true family has beaten him. He realizes that he has nowhere to go, but he has to go somewhere. Walt calling Skyler at the end is absolutely wonderful to watch. Gunn and Cranston play that scene beautifully. Walt’s not a stupid guy, even though he’s making stupid decisions, so he definitely knows the police are there. It’s one final, heartbreaking act for Walter White. He’s lost his money, and he didn’t get anything out of it. He’s had both his real family and his imagined family turn on him, and he finally breaks down, sacrificing all he has left for what’s left of it. At heart, he’s always been that kind of guy. Yet, he’s able to throw in a “You stupid bitch” as well, something he also really wants to believe in. It’s both a despicable and decent act, exemplifying why he’s been alone for so long. Now, he finally realizes it.

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We’re heading into the next episode with Walt on the run, one barrel of cash left from his now ruined empire. It’s fitting that he ends up this way, and it seems inevitable where his arc will take him. Still, the show can surprised us, and no matter what happens, Walter White will remain alone.

Grade: A

Other thoughts:

-Rian Johnson is amazing. The way he films the opening half hour is better than his “Fly” direction. The fade ins and fade outs are a thing of beauty.

-Hank has joined Mike in the “going out with a censored f-word” club.

-Marie goes from confident to broken in a matter of seconds. What a devastating performance by Betsy Brandt.

-The last shot is fittingly a rabid dog, crossing the street after Walt drives through. Walt’s leaving behind a crazy wave of destruction.

-The tension in this episode is off the charts. It’s like “Crawl Space” stretched out into 45 minutes.

-Walt rolling the barrel through the desert is a great shot.

-“HANK. HIS NAME IS HANK.”

-Walt twists the knife with his confession to Jesse about Jane. It’s an act of desperation and malice, and it’s hard to root for Walt after that.

-“If you knew about it, then you’re just as bad as him.” Amen, Walt Jr.

-It’s fitting how Hank is buried in a ditch dug for Walt’s money.

-Gomez didn’t even get to die on camera! RIP, buddy.

-I’m so excited for the final two episodes.

Credit to AMC and Breaking Bad for all pictures. I own nothing.

Emmys Dream Ballot+Predictions-Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series

15 Sep

Welcome to my coverage of the 2013 Primetime Emmys. As it’s less than a month away, I’ve decided to start a series in which I offer up my dream ballot for each major category. Then, I’ll look at the actual Emmy ballot and offer a “Who should win?” and a “Who Will Win?” for each. I hope you enjoy! Today, we’ll be looking at….

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES

Dream Ballot

LOUIE: Louis C.K. stars in LOUIE on FX.  LOUIS CK, “Louie”

Season 3 of Louie was a masterpiece of writing, directing, and acting, all done by Louis CK himself. He was as hilarious as always, and his interactions with the guest stars were brilliant, whether it be with Melissa Leo, Parker Posey, or others. His acting in the season finale was wonderful.

Alec-Baldwin-of-30-Rock_gallery_primary  ALEC BALDWIN, “30 Rock”

Jack Donaghy is one of the greatest sitcom characters of all time, and Season 7 did nothing to change that. In fact, the final season only strengthened that sentiment, allowing Baldwin to be hilarious as always. His relationship with his mom paved the way for some brilliant lines, and the central Jack-Liz relationship ended in a perfect manner.

Jake-Johnson-of-New-Girl_gallery_primary  JAKE JOHNSON, “New Girl”

While season 1 highlighted Max Greenfield’s Schmidt as the funniest male character, season 2 really allowed Johnson to shine. Other shows would’ve messed up the long-awaited Jess-Nick romance, tumbling into rom-com plots and turning up the cheese. However, this relationship was genuine, hilarious, and moving, and I couldn’t get enough of it. Jake Johnson was truly the breakout star of the 2012-2013 television comedy landscape.

Adam-Scott-of-Parks-and-Recreation_gallery_primary  ADAM SCOTT, “Parks and Recreation”

Although I wouldn’t count Scott a lead actor, he submitted himself as such. Still, he definitely shined in the moments he had on screen. Before Ben married Leslie, he was doing his own thing, hanging out with April and going through kidney stones. He was really perfect, though, during the build-up to the wedding, and was an essential part of the endearing relationship that was Leslie and Ben.

arrested-development-season-4-pic  JASON BATEMAN, “Arrested Development”

Bateman’s always been great in Arrested Development, and although the new season focused on different characters in different episodes, he still was a hilarious presence. Michael and George Michael is still one of the best dad-son dynamic on television, and Michael’s interactions with Gob, Buster, and the rest were still comedy gold.

big-bang-theory-season-5-16-the-vacation-solution-amy-farrah-fowler-sheldon-cooper  JIM PARSONS, “The Big Bang Theory”

I’m not a huge Big Bang fan, but there’s no denying that Parsons is consistently great as Sheldon Cooper. The most recent season made him out to be too much of a jerk, but his relationship with Amy saved everything; his work in the finale was magnificent.

Who should win?

CK

Others considered: Garrett Dillahunt, Johnny Galecki, Peter Capaldi, Rob Corddry, Joel McHale, Elijah Wood

On to the real nominations…

Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”

Jason Bateman, “Arrested Development”

Louis CK, “Louie”

Don Cheadle, “House of Lies”

Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes”

Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory”

Who should win?

CK

Who will win?

Parsons

Analysis: I’d love to see CK win. He’s absolutely magnificent. However, I feel like the top two candidates right now are Parsons and Baldwin, both respected actors with long-running shows. I could see it going either way, but I give the edge to Parsons. Don’t be surprised if CK wins, though.

Credit to CBS, NBC, FX, FOX, Netflix, Arrested Development, The Big Bang Theory, Louie, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, and New Girl for all pictures. I own nothing.

Emmys Dream Ballot+Predictions-Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series

14 Sep

Welcome to my coverage of the 2013 Primetime Emmys. As it’s less than a month away, I’ve decided to start a series in which I offer up my dream ballot for each major category. Then, I’ll look at the actual Emmy ballot and offer a “Who should win?” and a “Who Will Win?” for each. I hope you enjoy! Today, we’ll be looking at….

OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES

Dream Ballot

Tina-Fey-of-30-Rock_gallery_primary  TINA FEY, “30 Rock”

Tina Fey’s always been one of the funniest people on television, and the final year of 30 Rock really put a bow on her wonderful run as Liz Lemon. She did especially amazing work in the two part finale, conveying both sadness and and delight as she closed out her relationships with Jack, Tracy, and Jenna.

Zooey-Deschanel-of-New-Girl_gallery_primary  ZOOEY DESCHANEL, “New Girl”

After an average first season, New Girl blew me away this year. Jake Johnson had the breakout performance, but Deschanel was consistently great as the awkward, endearing Jess Day. Her relationship with Nick was one the best handled, and funniest, relationships I’ve ever seen on television.

enlightened21f-1-web  LAURA DERN, “Enlightened”

Amy Jellicoe was a flawed, narcissistic character that just wanted to improve the world. Dern was amazing at her portrayal of Jellicoe, transforming her character into an unlikeable, yet relatable person that you could sympathize with. Her character was so real, and so unique, and was one of the best on TV.

Julia-Louis-Dreyfus-of-Veep_gallery_primary  JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS, “Veep”

Her performance as the sarcastic, bumbling Vice President was top notch this year. The profanity-filled, glass door-breaking shenanigans were absolutely hilarious, and her relationships with her ex-husband and her daughter Catherine had very few dull moments.

11GIRLS-articleLarge  LENA DUNHAM, “Girls”

This performance, as well as the show in general, is extremely polarizing. However, in the second season of the show, Dunham brilliantly portrayed a woman spiraling downward due to her OCD and relationship troubles. There will always be detractors, but that shouldn’t stop her from getting a nomination.

1818369  AMY POEHLER, “Parks and Recreation”

Poehler is TV’s second-funniest lady, right behind Tina Fey. Leslie Knope is such a lovable, heart-warming character that we love to see every week. Her wedding with Ben was one of the most beautiful things on TV this year, and she even got to meet Joe Biden!

Who should win?

I’d love to see Dern win, as it’s her last year of eligibility, but I’d be just as happy with Poehler or Fey. Poehler has to win sometime, though. We don’t want to see another Steve Carell situation.

Others considered: Sutton Foster, Edie Falco, Martha Plimpton, Dakota Johnson, Krysten Ritter, Courteney Cox, Portia de Rossi

On to the real nominations…

Laura Dern-Enlightened

Lena Dunham-Girls

Edie Falco-Nurse Jackie

Tina Fey-30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus-Veep

Amy Poehler-Parks and Recreation

Who should win?

See above.

Who will win?

Fey

Analysis: I believe Fey can pull it off one last time. It’s between her and Louis-Dreyfus for the win, but I think we’re going to see some final season nostalgia culminating in Fey’s win. It’d be well-deserved, though.

Credit to HBO, NBC, FOX, Veep, Girls, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, New Girl, and Enlightened for all pictures. I own nothing.

Strike Back “Shadow Warfare, Episode 5” Review (3×05/4×05)

14 Sep

1185816_669725489706595_1893072589_nIF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR MY SEASON FINALE (EPISODE 10) REVIEW, HERE IT IS: https://polarbearstv.com/2013/10/19/strike-back-shadow-warfare-episode-10-review-3x104x10/

After the major events of last week, Strike Back was bound to take a step down. However, that’s not to say this episode is bad; it just moves slower, resulting in more of a table-setting episode than usual.

Before we get to the episode…I know I said that I would only be posting reviews every other week, but I decided to bring back my weekly reviews. Last week’s recap was extremely popular, and I wouldn’t want to take episodes off, especially considering the short length of the season and lack of many recaps around the internet. I just thought it wouldn’t be fair to all those that want to read commentary on each episode after it airs.

Anyway, this episode shifts focus to Mairead MacKenna, the IRA agent responsible for the murder of Agent Dalton. Section 20 pursues and captures her after receiving word that al-Zuhari’s forces and the IRA will deliver a joint attack on an unnamed target in the West. This is a segue into a sequence of interrogation scenes, delivered by Philip Locke, a person onto which the show has been shifting focus over the past few episodes. While Dalton was spiraling downward, Locke was doing the opposite, and now that Dalton’s gone, he becomes more of a presence in the show.

It’s chilling to watch him slowly turn the tables on MacKenna, using her dead brother as leverage. She starts sweating, tensing up, and clutching her fists angrily, while he maintains a steely demeanor throughout. Yet, it seems as if he’s a stereotypical intelligence agent; he has baggage, but he’s able to hide it well. For the most part. Notice his reaction after she remarks, “The Philip Locke?” He seems almost anxious, and it’s evident that she’s struck a chord. It is very likely that he has a more complicated relationship with MacKenna and her brother than is revealed here.

Over with Scott and Stonebridge, we also start to see difficulty maintaining the facade of a badass Section 20 agent. Stonebridge is afflicted with physical problems, while Scott is afflicted with the emotional toll Dalton’s death has taken. He’s not so much surprised as disappointed at the other members of his team for not feeling some joy at the Major’s death. Scott and Stonebridge have always relied on their physical prowess and ability to move on, so it’s interesting to see if these effects will be long term.

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We know that it’ll at least continue into the next episode. After a fun, yet ridiculous (more on this in “Other thoughts”) shootout in an airport, Stonebridge is unwilling to take a shot as MacKenna holds a gun to Locke’s head. Obviously, he’s afraid for his boss’s life, but we can also tell that whatever’s troubling him is really burrowing deep into his mind. He’s going to be tested, much like Locke, the seemingly unbreakable agent that is now in the clutches of the IRA. It seems as if Dalton’s death has set us up for the character arcs to come.

Grade: B

Other thoughts:

-The airport scene is ridiculous. I know that Strike Back isn’t all that realistic, but these guys (and gals) are smart enough to not let MacKenna get away so easily. Every action star on TV should follow this statement: BATHROOM=BAD. BATHROOM=BAD. BATHROOM=BAD.

-The action scenes aren’t quite as fun this week, but I do like the opening scene. It’s very well shot and intense.

-So, we have the most gratuitous sex we’ve had all season. I’m not complaining, especially since it involves two women. It’s an essential part of the fabric of the show.

-Martinez asking Stonebridge out as they’re heading toward a firefight is so great.

-Classic Strike Back moment: Stonebridge’s elbow to MacKenna’s ribs in the car, and Scott’s small smile afterwards

Credit to Cinemax and Strike Back for all pictures. I own nothing.

PTC condemns “Sons of Anarchy” season premiere because they don’t have anything better to do with their lives

12 Sep

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Today, the Parents Television Council (also known as the GOPA, or Group of Pretentious Assholes) decided to use their oh so wonderful 1st Amendment rights to petition Congress for what is essentially a Constitutional amendment. For a TV show.

Oh yes, this group of rambunctious little worrywarts is back at it again, releasing a statement today that reads, “The Parents Television Council is calling on its members to contact Congress to express the urgent need for a consumer cable choice solution in response to the violent and sexually graphic premiere of FX’s Sons Of Anarchy, which featured a young boy committing a school shooting, simulated rape scenes, torture of women, and a man who was drowned in a bathtub of urine”, which essentially means “We didn’t like the episode, so we want everyone to conform to our highly idealistic and narrow-minded view of television in general.”

What a hoot! Last I checked, parents decided what their kids could and couldn’t watch, not a group of idiots that are getting more attention than they deserve (I’m writing an article about them, for God’s sake). What’s next? Criticizing Game of Thrones, Hannibal, or pretty much all of TV? I’m so glad there’s a council out there telling adults how to act.

Of course, all members of this group probably watch these shows in a dark room somewhere, smoking joints, giggling, and slapping each other with balloon animals. They’re so distracted that they don’t seem to notice the “TV-MA” and the “VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED” and the “THIS PROGRAM CONTAINS VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, AND NUDITY, WHICH ARE THE EXACT THINGS WE’RE CRITICIZING” disclaimers, four or five of which accompany each episode of every show on the network.

The show is on cable and at 10 pm, and it’s not a show for tiny, messy kids with inferiority complexes. Of course, going by that definition, that’s the equivalent of saying it’s not a show for the PTC.

Credit to FX and Sons of Anarchy for all pictures. I own nothing.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia “Gun Fever Too: Still Hot” Review (9×02)

12 Sep

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I love it when Sunny tries to take on a social/political issue, as it paves the way for some incredibly idiotic, hilarious banter from people that have absolutely no idea what the hell they’re talking about. The episodes are less about the issue, and more about how the Gang reacts to it. This episode in particular covers the issue of gun control, with Dennis and Dee taking the anti-gun side, and Mac and Charlie taking the pro-gun side. Frank is also there, the initiator of all the events in the episode through his call to bear arms.

I love the Mac and Charlie banter, especially when they argue over the effectiveness of a sword compared to a gun. It’s so Mac of Mac to think that zigzagging and making loud noises will distract a gun wielder. I also love their denim outfits, as well as the reference to Indiana Jones.

On to Dee and Dennis. Kaitlin Olson has really mastered the art of yelling, and this episode places her back in full-blown rage form. It’s a sight to see, and it will never get old. It’s kind of ironic how these two end up being the ones with the most background problems, eventually leading them to change their minds over their stance on guns. I like how the storylines eventually meld, completely switching the positions of the two pairings. Mac acknowledges that they could’ve just met two hours beforehand.

However, with all the positive aspects of the episode, I feel like there isn’t much payoff. Especially coming off of last week’s brutal ending, I wish that this episode would embrace the crazy like I know it can. Show us the march on city hall, show! By making this all out to be a money making scheme by Frank, it stays true to the characters, but doesn’t quite deliver on its premise as much as I was expecting it to.

Grade: B

Other thoughts:

-It’s the return of the drug dealer from season 2! I love how Dennis only rolls down his window a few centimeters to talk to him, and how the dealer just “saunters off”.

-Frank and Uncle Jack are perfect in the episode. Also, the sandwich.

-“Did you know that 80% of your water is 100% toxic?”

-“You set one bitch on fire and everyone makes a big deal out of it!”

-“That was against my will, it doesn’t really count.”
“That’s the only time it counts, Dee.”

-“The government of today has no business telling us how to live our lives because the government of 200 years ago already did. They also protected us from tyranny against the seizure of tasteful, artistic photographs of beautiful bodies.”

“Not now, Jack.”

-It’s the New Girl landlord!

Credit to FXX and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for all pictures. I own nothing.

The Bridge “Old Friends” Review (1×10)

12 Sep

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Most of television nowadays is entertaining without really being thoughtful. The Bridge is starting to shift toward this end of the spectrum, as the story that’s now unfolding on screen is one of a criminal mastermind and the cops that are trying to catch him. That’s not to say the show is bad, but the tonal shift is evident.

Most of this specific episode involves Marco and Sonya trying to find Gus, and this storyline ultimately feels like a waste of time. Marco would’ve gotten that phone call from Tate no matter what, and their search feels like a wild goose chase. I suppose it could be spun so that a wild goose chase is necessary, as it heightens the sense of desperation felt by the two cops, but there are better ways to do this. Bichir and Kruger milk the hell out of their roles (the scene shown in the picture above is absolutely fantastic. It marks a reversal of their character roles, as last week, Marco was the one trying to inject optimism into the proceedings. This week, Sonya’s forced to comfort him and maintain a level of confidence.), but I find myself losing interest. This is especially the case for Tate, as his motivations are a bit muddled now. For example, why blame Marco more than anyone else? It’s these kind of inconsistencies that prevent me from really getting involved with this storyline.

I am interested, however, in Mathew Lillard’s Daniel Frye, a character whose layers are exposed in this episode. Lillard is wonderful throughout, especially in an AA meeting scene in which he goes from making a joke out of everything to breaking down and pledging to maintain sobriety. Lillard conveys a full range of emotions there, and it’s almost a moment of catharsis for him. Of course, then Mr. Omnipresent Tate walks up to him in the parking lot and abducts him. Enough with this kind of stuff, show.

The other side story of the episode involves Charlotte, a character that I have a ton of problems with. Right now, she’s just tangentially related to the search for Gus, and her scenes really feel out of place. I also don’t buy her sudden transformation into a killer. Yes, she’s been backed into a corner, but when I said I wanted her to become more of herself, this isn’t what I meant.

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So, we head into next week with Gus in some giant barrel lit by a glowstick, and Marco and Tate driving  together to get him. Of course, there’s always the possibility that they’re just going to drive off into nowhere and eventually meet up with Todd.

Grade: B

Other Thoughts:

-Or, maybe Marco will realize that he doesn’t care about Gus, and just shoot Tate. Or, Tate’s whole plan will revolve around Marco having a gun, and when they get to their destination, they find out that his gun is out of bullets.

-I like Alma and Marco’s scene, as well as Alma’s refusal to go with him. Yes, it may seem stupid and cold, but it makes sense if you think about it. She realizes that it’s Marco all along that has been the danger to her and her children.

-“Twelve steps can suck my dick.”

-No Linder. I guess he’s off eating ham sandwiches, disposing of corpses, and being his usual unintelligible self. I hope that if this continues for multiple seasons, his storylines just involve him wandering around doing whatever the hell he wants.

-Diane Kruger still looks great while injured.

Credit to FX and The Bridge for all pictures. I own nothing.

John Oliver is returning to “Community”, and it’s about time.

11 Sep

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In news surely to please any Community fan, or lover of comedy in general, the show is bringing back John Oliver as Professor Ian Duncan, last seen in “Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts” back in Season A Long Time Ago.

He will have a recurring role, appearing in at least six episodes, a statement which hopefully means he will be appearing in twenty two episodes. He will also hopefully be taking on the role of Troy Barnes, preferably without any explanation whatsoever. There might be a short exchange, though, that goes something like:

Jeff: Aren’t you supposed to be black?

Oliver as Duncan as Troy: Yeah, but I made some adjustments in my life this summer. *Jumps into bed with Britta*

Logically, this should also mean he’d be taking on the role of Pierce Hawthorne, and he’s eventually going to be playing every single character in the show. That way, if Jon Stewart ever decided to guest star, he’d be there to take his place as well.

Oliver will spend his time on the show drinking lots of tea and showing off his big penis (I do not say this from experience), and he will continually want to move to a room with less balls. He will also-…whatever. He’s back. Harmon’s back. McKenna’s back. The Russos are back. Goggins and Banks are coming. It should be a great season. If it’s not, then I blame Britta.

Credit to NBC and Community for all pictures. I own nothing.

Saul Goodman to be Saul Goodman in “Breaking Bad” spinoff about Saul Goodman

11 Sep

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After months of speculation, AMC announced today that Bob Odenkirk will reprise his role in a spinoff of Breaking Bad, and that said spinoff will be airing on AMC. The series will involve Saul Goodman doing Saul Goodman-y things, like telling young, unsuspecting idiots to not drink and drive, but call him if they do. The series will be one hour, and will presumably consist of 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads, 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads, and 20 minutes of “Better Call Saul” ads. 

Vince Gilligan will be involved in the creative process, and the series will most likely air sometime next year. That gives us enough time to finish screaming at the top of our lungs in reaction to Breaking Bad, and will give our families and friends enough time to look at us strangely, then move out of the country. By the time we have digested the series finale and have gone through withdrawal from the show, most of us will probably be a melted puddle of human, almost as if Walt himself dissolved us in a vat of acid.

Those of us that survive will be able to see Saul’s origins, as the series will trace his route from sleazy lawyer to sleazy lawyer of Heisenberg. Hank and Marie will probably guest star so Hank can throw in a “Jesus Christ, Marie!”, and Jesus Christ will probably descend from the skies in the form of Huell. Walt Jr. will also spend the whole series gaping idiotically at Saul.

Credit to AMC and Breaking Bad for all pictures. I own nothing.